Code Monkey Happy Ninja Banana Surprise!

 Seriously. Think about it.

First – there’s the Asian Bird Flu. Ok ok I know, Viruses Happen™, BUT … it has found its way over here and there’s no apparent true real cure for it. So just yer basic global chaos inducer. Fun!

Second – remember the toothpaste recall? Yep.

Third – we ALL know about the paint.And finally — just a little note that this has been going on a loooong time, waaay back in 1994 we were finding lead in Chinese made crayons [archived link].

So how did this all come to be? What exactly are some Chinese government officials thinking? Here, let me help (brought to you by The Voices In My Head®™)

[Scene: Bright sunny day in Beijing; near the ruins of the Fang Wai Guan on the Old Summer Palace ruins]

Government Official: So! how do we keell the annoying Americans? I hate cheeseburgers!

Scientist: Yah – but I like their fries…. I am so sorry the Happy Sad Bird Ninja Virus Surprise!™ attack did not go successfully…

Government Official: Apology accepted, but completely understood. We will burn your house down. You know, Americans like their whitey white teeth.

Scientist: Teeth! Yes! We will drop thousands of wind up teeth toys onto American stinky soil and they will go mad from the clatter!

Government Official: No you nimwit, think! How do they keep their teeth so white?

Scientist: Economic racism?

Government Official: [G.O. hits scientist over head with Billy Club®]

Scientist: Oh! Oh oh yes! They brush their teeth. Good thinking! We will ship poisoned toothpaste immediately!

And so it began…….